“Forever is composed of nows.” ― Emily Dickinson
I heard a coach say something recently that I haven’t been able to shake:
“Be where your feet are.”
Five words. Pretty simple advice.
But the more I thought about it—and eventually started writing about it—the more I realized there are four very different ways to understand those words.
1. Be Where You Are
The obvious one: be in today.
Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Not where you thought you’d be by now. And definitely not where somebody else is.
We spend an incredible amount of energy replaying what already happened or worrying about what might happen next. Athletes worry about the mistake they just made. Recruits worry about the offer they don’t have. Coaches worry about their next job.
I’m guilty of it, too. I’m not particularly nostalgic. My problem is the opposite. I’m always asking, What’s next?
What’s the next podcast? The next presentation? The next opportunity? How do I get from here to there?
Sometimes I need to remind myself:
Matt, you’re here. Take care of here.
Your feet aren’t in yesterday anymore, and they haven’t reached tomorrow yet.
2. Own Where You Are
Being where your feet are doesn’t mean standing still. It means taking responsibility for the space you’re standing in.
If you’re a coach and see a kid struggling, say something.
If you’re a parent and your child needs to hear something difficult, say it.
If you’re a leader and see somebody being treated unfairly, don’t pretend you didn’t.
Sometimes it’s even simpler.
There’s a grocery cart sitting in the middle of the parking lot. I can complain about the person who left it there—or take 30 seconds and put the damn thing away.
It’s not going to change the world.
But it’s the moment my feet are in, and there’s something I can do.
I don’t want to look back and regret that I was standing right there and chose to do nothing.
3. Be With the People Who Are There
Sometimes our feet are in exactly the right place, but we’re still not there.
We’re having dinner with our family while looking at our phones. We’re at our kid’s game answering emails. We’re talking to someone while mentally preparing for whatever we’re doing next.
I think about this with my teenagers.
How many more car rides do I get? Games? Practices? Random conversations when one of them walks into the room at exactly the moment I was planning to get something done?
My first instinct might be, I’ve got work to do.
Maybe I do.
But the work can probably wait ten minutes.
Their feet are standing next to mine right now.
That’s true for coaches, parents, teachers, spouses and friends.
You don’t have to fix every moment.
Sometimes you just need to be there for it.
4. Understand Where Their Feet Are
This is the one that challenged me.
I’ve always loved the line from Hamlet: “To thine own self be true.”
Be yourself. Have conviction. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don’t allow other people to determine your happiness or self-worth.
I still believe all of that.
But I’ve realized that being true to myself doesn’t mean every situation should be viewed through my eyes.
I’m 51. My kids aren’t.
I’m a husband. I’m not my wife.
I’m a coach. I’m not the athlete.
I’m an official. I’m not the parent in the stands.
Maybe I’ve spent too much of my life assuming the way I see something is the way it should be seen.
That’s not always conviction.
Sometimes that’s ego.
My teenagers don’t always need the perspective of a 51-year-old man. Sometimes they need their dad to understand what the world feels like from where they’re standing.
The sarcasm and directness that I appreciate may not be what my wife needs from me in that moment.
When I’m coaching or officiating, I don’t simply represent myself. My words and actions represent the school, the district, the city and the young people who are counting on me to act like an adult.
That’s what writing about this phrase helped me understand.
Being where your feet are isn’t only about presence. It’s also about perspective.
Know where you are.
Own your responsibility while you’re there.
Pay attention to the people standing beside you.
And then have enough humility to occasionally step outside your own shoes and ask:
What does the world look like from where their feet are standing?
Keep the Conversation Going
“Be Where Your Feet Are” is also the focus of this week’s episode of The Significant Coaching Podcast. In Episode 194, I go deeper into these four ideas and some of the personal experiences that forced me to take a harder look at what this philosophy means in my own life.
🎙️ Listen to Episode 194: “Be Where Your Feet Are” at CoachMattRogers.com.
And if something here connects with where your feet are right now, let’s talk.
If you’re a family navigating the college recruiting process, or a coach or athletics leader looking for support, perspective and professional growth, I’d love to learn more about where you are, where you want to go and how I might be able to help.
Start the conversation at CoachMattRogers.com.
