“Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
I wasn’t born in Chicago, but I’ve always felt like a Chicago guy. I grew up in a small farming town about two and a half hours west of the city, yet my heart has always beat with the rhythm of the Cubs, Bears, and Bulls. Every trip to the Windy City felt like stepping into something electric—gritty, raw, relentless. For all its industrial grit and rusted edges, Chicago remains my favorite city in the world. It’s tough, real, and unapologetic. And I can’t wait to go back.
But I don’t just feel connected to Chicago because of my love for its teams or its skyline. I feel it because I grew up in chaos.
Born in the Storm
I was the youngest of five, with four older siblings who were already a decade ahead of me by the time I could form memories. The first seven years of my life were loud—blue-collar work ethic, nonstop movement, arguments that sounded like war but ended in laughter, love that felt like a full-contact sport. Yelling, teasing, celebrating, debating—these were the languages of my home. It was survival training in a household that felt like a constant, unpredictable brawl.
That’s Chicago.
From the outside, it looks like madness. From the inside, it’s just a Tuesday.
The Chaos of Work
By the time I hit high school, the siblings were gone, and it was just me and my parents. That’s when they bought the local downtown restaurant. If I thought growing up with four loud, older siblings was chaos, I hadn’t seen anything yet. Imagine being a teenager, making $4 an hour, serving 800 people every Saturday and Sunday morning in a six-hour window, under the watchful (and often critical) eyes of my parents.
There was no time for exhaustion. No time for self-pity. No time to question what needed to be done. You just locked in and worked. Tunnel vision. You figured out how to stay calm in the storm, how to push through fatigue, how to drown out the noise.
And that brings me to my latest obsession—The Bear on Hulu.
The Bear: More Than Just a Show
I didn’t realize how much my childhood shaped me as a husband, father, teacher, and coach until I watched The Bear.
Yes, it’s set in Chicago. But more than that—Chicago is a character in the show. A living, breathing entity.
I won’t spoil the plot for you, but here’s the gist: Imagine the youngest sibling of a dysfunctional family somehow escaping the chaos of Chicago and becoming one of the world’s top chefs. Then imagine him being pulled back—to run his late brother’s run-down, grease-stained, hot beef joint alongside a staff that’s even more dysfunctional than his family.
That’s The Bear.
It’s not just a show about food or family. It’s about chaos, survival, and the strange beauty found in both.
The Lessons in the Madness
When you grow up in chaos, you develop a skillset most people don’t understand. You learn how to stay calm when the world is burning. You figure out how to fight with words, cripple with tone, and cut through noise like a surgeon. You become immune to volume, desensitized to the madness—because to you, it’s just life.
But The Bear reminded me of something else, too—chaos leaves scars.
It teaches you resilience, but it also rewires your brain in ways you don’t always recognize. It sticks with you, lurking beneath the surface, waiting to resurface at the next high-stress moment. Watching The Bear made me sit up and think: How much of this chaos is still running my life? How much of it do I actually want?
The Connection to Coaching
If you’re wondering what a show like The Bear has to do with coaching and athletics, let me ask you this—what’s sports if not controlled chaos?
The emotions, the pressure, the battles, the breakdowns and breakthroughs—it’s all there. And if you’re paying attention, there are lessons everywhere. There’s even a small, indirect nod to Coach K in Season 2 that proves just how deeply intertwined the chaos of life and sports really are.
So, do yourself a favor—watch The Bear. Then let’s talk.
Because whether it’s a restaurant, a locker room, or the city of Chicago itself, one thing is always true: You either learn to survive the chaos, or you get swallowed by it.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog and want to dive deeper into understanding motivation and personal growth, check out my book, Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes. It provides valuable insights into the recruiting process and how athletes can take control of their journey.
Families and school administrators can also schedule a strategy session with me. Together, we can uncover what truly motivates you and develop a game plan for long-term success.
