What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become. –Joseph Chilton Pearce
I imagine I’m like most parents—I want the best for my kids, but I often try too hard to lead “their” life in the right direction. I over-parent too much, and when I get mad at myself for over-parenting, I end up under-parenting and being too quiet. It becomes this constant back and forth, trying to find the right balance, and not always getting it right.
As my kids get older and older, I’m starting to realize something that feels both simple and important. I really just want the same thing they want… to just be together. Not perfectly planned moments or well-timed lessons, but real, everyday time.
A dinner with laughter.
Sharing a laugh—or even a cry—watching a good movie.
A walk through the park on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
These are the moments that seem to matter most, even though they can feel small in the moment.
The more I think about it, the more I understand that those moments don’t require me to have all the answers or to constantly guide every situation. They don’t require me to correct, fix, or direct. They just require me to be present. And when I’m present—truly there—that’s when the connection happens.
More than anything, it’s the simple things that seem to stay with them. A hug. A kiss on the cheek. An “I love you more than anything” before bedtime. Those moments may not feel like big wins in the moment, but they carry more weight than we often realize.
So when you feel like you’re failing your kid, or that you’re not doing enough, take a breath and step back. Remember that you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to get it right every time. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply be there.
If this message resonates with you, and you’re navigating the recruiting journey, parenting through sports, or trying to better support your student-athlete, I’ve built resources to help guide you through it.
You can learn more, access tools, and schedule a free recruiting strategy session at coachmattrogers.com.
- Explore the book Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes
- Check out the sport-specific Recruit’s Journals
- Listen to the podcast for weekly insights on coaching, recruiting, and leadership
- Or book a session to get personalized direction for your family’s journey
Because just like parenting… recruiting isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about showing up, staying present, and making the most of the moments that matter.
