“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” -Nelson Mandela
After 26 years on the sidelines, you would think that I would learn from my mistakes and failures better. My wife teases me that I have to mess up 3 times before I ever get anything right, and she may be on to something after being married to me for 26 years (by the way, Happy Anniversary Ms. Numoto).
I am back coaching high school basketball as a Head Boys’ Coach for the first time in 22 years. I have a great group of young men. I love them to death, and could not imagine a better group of individual characters (smart, funny, humble, dedicated, diverse, coachable, etc.) than this group I have been blessed with. The problem is that none of them are full-time basketball players. We’ve got an all-state golfer (who if I don’t mess him up has a chance to be All-State); a stud baseball player; 3 really good football players; 3 top-tier conditioned soccer players (including another potential First Team All-Conference player if I don’t mess him up); 2 freshmen with a ton of potential; an extremely passionate young man with a motor and desire to win that doesn’t stop; and an outstanding senior leader who will probably be a Senator at some point in his life.
What we don’t have is a true point guard (one is developing), a true center or any real significant size, nor any kids who have natural court vision or have been taught the intricacies of motion basketball or man-to-man defense (except for one freshman believe it or not).
I’ve been through this type of thing enough to know that my failures always show me the path to success with any group of hoopers. I am at my best when I have a group of kids for at least 2 years together. I have time to figure out what they are made of, how quickly they can learn, how to keep them motivated, and time to greatly improve their knowledge of the game, athleticism and skill-set.
The problem is that doesn’t help my seniors. They are tired of losing (as am I), and they deserve a lot better than where I have them today. We’ve been banged up and sick (including me) for 2 weeks now, and it only got worse last night as we dropped to 3-7 losing 2 key seniors to ankle injuries and another senior to a virus that is zapping his lungs and energy. I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t have all the answers rushing to my brain. We are flipping a lot of coins as a staff and hoping heads or tails will lead us down the path to righteousness.
I tell you all of this because I am trying hard to look in the mirror as I attempt to figure out how I can find the maturity and intelligence that 26 years in the trenches should be affording me. I keep seeing the same young, 25-year old, first time head coach looking back at me but with a lot more grey hair and way too many wrinkles around the eyes.
I’m still a hot head. I’m still at my best when I create chaos (at least that’s what I tell myself). I’m still indifferent to crowd noise and criticism. However, there’s something different. Something I am seeing that wasn’t there before.
I have no interest in the “next” job. I completely understand (from experience) that a State Championship will not cure all of my woes. I am finding that I don’t bring the stress of coaching home with me near as much or as often. Losses roll off my back much quicker. Wins linger a little longer. I am enjoying the fist bumps and hugs after practices and before games more than I ever have before. I still love it when the light finally goes on in a young man’s eyes who we’ve been waiting to come out of the dark to find his truth. That’s still pretty cool.
And then, like most of the dark days I have had over the years, my two kids and my wife pop into my head, and I smile, and I remember how good I have it. I remember how lucky I am to have a healthy family. I remember how thankful I am that someone gave me another opportunity to do what I love. I remember to stop thinking and start teaching.
Today was a good day.
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