“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
– Dale Carnegie
My wife and kids are not real basketball fans. I would call them seasonal fans. They want nothing to do with basketball until late February comes around until…well…there’s research to be done.
We have an annual March Madness tournament in our family. It’s just 7 of us in our immedate family group, but it is a dramatic battle to the end, just like the games themselves.
As a long-time college basketball coach, the games are fun for me to watch, and I watch every game knowing that anything can happen…like when a young player panics in the heat of battle when the game is basically over, but the pressure of the situation makes him make a decision that he normally would not make, which leads to a big shot by the other team and a loss that millions will remember for decades to come.
You heard me right…”the loss,” not the win, will be remembered.
We won’t talk about the 2 huge shots made in under :30 seconds, the free throws made and missed, and the two unfortunate turnovers the 2 plays before. What has been discussed ad nauseam is the final play—since UConn hit the shot to knock Duke out of the Tournament after Duke led by as many as 19 points in the 2nd Half.
It was a great game…a game for the ages…and one most of us who watched it, still can’t believe ended the way it did. That’s why the Big Dance is so great. It brings people into the game that normally would never consider watching basketball. It is truly drama that the greatest writers and directors could never replicate. It is the closest most of us will be ever come to euphoria.
But that’s not the madness I speak of. It’s the madness of a people who can’t help but yell, criticize and ostracize teenagers because the ball did not bounce their way. These are young men and women playing these games…and I stress games. They have worked so hard for years to put themselves and their teams in these situations. Most have dreamed of hitting the big shot in the biggest of games before they got to middle school.
The game wasn’t won or lost on that last play or because of that last shot. It was two teams that were physically battling for every dribble, let alone every shot, for 40 minutes. Many things went well. Many things did not.
There’s a young coach on the Duke bench who will over-prepare his teams for years to come for just that situation. There won’t be a thought of throwing that ball up the floor in future years up-2 points with 10 seconds to go. They will inbound, hold the ball, make the other team foul and secure their place in the Final Four. That young man who made the last turnover will become a master of pump and pass fakes and do hours and hours of work—mentally and emotionally—to overcome not just the decision and mistake, but the pure childish hatred he will receive for the weeks to come.
What we won’t talk about is how great UConn had to play to overcome the deficit. We won’t talk enough about their resilience, and we won’t talk about how Duke dominated a very good team for the better part of 35 minutes or how well this young (18-years old!) point guard played up until that final decision.
We have the ability to be the greatest nation on Earth. We really do, but when we turn a game into the green light to demonize others, we really have no business being in that discussion.
I want us to be better. I want these kids to be grateful for this opportunity they’ve earned and not regret the blood, sweat and tears they put into it to be there in the first place.
If this message resonates with you—whether you’re a parent, coach, or someone navigating the journey of athletics and life—there are more resources waiting for you at coachmattrogers.com.
From Significant Recruiting to the sport-specific Recruit’s Journals and the Significant Recruiting Launchpad, everything I create is built to help athletes and families take ownership of their journey, stay prepared, and focus on what truly matters.
If you’re looking for guidance along the way, I’d love to connect—whether that’s through a recruiting strategy session or bringing this message to your school or organization.
