“You don’t know what you like… you like what you know.” – Peter Weller
My 12-year-old son has a strict food policy: ketchup is the only sauce allowed. He recently tiptoed into the world of teriyaki, but it’s still a rare occasion. No mayo, no ranch, and don’t even think about mixing the foods on his plate. He eats each dinner item—starch, protein, and begrudgingly vegetables—one at a time. No combinations, no surprises, no new flavors. He’s convinced he already knows what he likes, so why try anything else?
Of course, we encourage him to be more adventurous. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” we tell him. But he’s perfectly content in his culinary bubble.
And honestly, it reminds me a lot of how many families approach the college recruiting process.
The Comfort Zone of College Decisions
In my years working with student-athletes and families, I’ve come across this mindset more often than I can count. There’s a sense of certainty—what families think they know about college and recruiting feels so absolute. But the truth is, they’re often working with a very limited menu.
Just in the last few weeks, I’ve heard parents say things like:
- “If it’s not a big state school, you can’t possibly expect to get a job after college.”
- “We’re not looking out of state—it’s way too expensive.”
- “Private schools are for liberal arts majors. We want a real degree, so we’re sticking to public schools.”
Sound familiar?
These assumptions can block families from discovering the very opportunities that might fit their student-athlete best. It’s dinner all over again: safe, separated, and closed off to possibility.
What Peter Weller (Yes, RoboCop) Taught Me
One of my favorite ways to pass time on the treadmill is with a good podcast. Marc Maron’s WTF is in regular rotation, even though we don’t see the world the same way. He’s a phenomenal interviewer who always leaves me feeling a little smarter, whether he’s talking to a former President or a comedian I’ve never heard of.
Recently, he interviewed actor and artist Peter Weller. I expected RoboCop stories. Instead, I found myself completely rethinking who Peter Weller is—deep, thoughtful, and fascinating. During their conversation, Maron mentioned something he liked, and Weller responded with a powerful truth:
“You don’t know what you like… you like what you know.”
That hit me like a hammer. How often do we all do this? Stick with what’s familiar simply because we haven’t been challenged to explore beyond it?
In recruiting, this mindset can be costly. A student may overlook the perfect school—the one that fits their values, goals, and athletic ability—simply because they’ve never heard of it before. Parents may push for a school that feels safe, when in reality, it may not be the best place for their child to grow.
A Better Way Forward
Over the years, I’ve seen so many student-athletes fall in love with schools they’d never considered—because they stayed open. They asked questions. They went on visits. They challenged their own assumptions.
If you’re a parent, coach, or counselor guiding a student through this process, here are three action steps to keep their minds (and options) open:
- Create a values-based list.
Have the student-athlete write down what matters most to them in a college experience—academically, athletically, socially—and identify their non-negotiables. - Research broadly.
Explore at least 15–20 schools across all levels: NCAA D1, D2, D3, and NAIA. Don’t limit the list to the schools everyone talks about. The hidden gems are often where the magic happens. - Visit different types of campuses.
Encourage families to visit one small private school, one mid-sized institution, and one large D1 university. Watch a game or match. Tour campus. Meet with coaches, admissions, and financial aid. Don’t just look—experience the environment.
Final Thought: You Might Just Be Surprised
Every college has classrooms, dorms, and a cafeteria. But not every college has the soul that matches your student-athlete. The right fit isn’t always the one you expected. Sometimes, it’s the one you hadn’t even heard of until you took the time to explore it.
You don’t know what you like… until you give it a chance.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog and want to dive deeper into understanding motivation and personal growth, check out my book, Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes. It provides valuable insights into the recruiting process and how athletes can take control of their journey.
Families and school administrators can also schedule a strategy session with me. Together, we can uncover what truly motivates you and develop a game plan for long-term success.
