Re-Evaluating College Recruiting: What Every Family Needs to Understand Right Now

“The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.” -Robert Fulghum

I’ve been involved in college recruiting for more than 30 years — as an athlete, coach, scout, mentor, and parent. I’d love to tell you I have all the answers, but if I did, I’d probably be leading you astray.

I talk with college coaches, athletic directors, commissioners, and presidents every single week. I’m confident they’d all tell you the same thing:

College recruiting is the wild, wild west.

It’s constantly evolving. Every coach, every program, and every school approaches it differently — and often in ways that serve their needs first.

That last part matters more than most families want to admit.

Colleges Want You — But They Don’t Need You

If you’re a family with an aspiring college athlete, here’s a hard truth that doesn’t get said enough:

Colleges want you, but they don’t need you.

They want your respect.
They want your commitment.
They want your talent.

But they don’t need you.

Here’s a stat that helps explain why.

As I write this, there are over 4,000 football players in the NCAA transfer portal. Fewer than one-third of them will find a new home.

Let that sink in.

What’s staggering isn’t just the number — it’s the false hope attached to it.

Many of those athletes are telling themselves, “I was recruited heavily out of high school. Those coaches will want me again.”

That’s where the plan breaks down.

Recruiting Is a Lot Like Dating

Think of recruiting like dating.

You’re talking to someone you really like. You hope it turns into something serious — an exclusive relationship. But then that person says, “I found someone I like a little more. I’m committing to them.”

That’s recruiting.

College coaching staffs may talk to 500 athletes to land 5–10 commitments. They expect most of those conversations not to turn into long-term relationships. And they expect many recruits to find a better fit elsewhere.

Eventually, a commitment happens. Things are good. The relationship grows.

Then one side — usually the athlete — feels they’re not getting enough attention: playing time, role clarity, NIL opportunities, development.

So they hop back on the dating apps.

In recruiting terms?
They enter the transfer portal.

The Portal Changes How You’re Viewed

Here’s the part athletes don’t always understand.

When you enter the portal, you’re no longer viewed the same way.

What Families Should Actually Focus On

So here’s my advice to parents and student-athletes:

Stop obsessing over division level.
Stop chasing the fastest brand-builder or biggest paycheck.
Stop believing that attention equals commitment.

Instead:

Focus on work ethic
Focus on development
Focus on fit
Focus on chemistry
Focus on coaches who truly want you

Junior colleges, Division III, and NAIA programs change lives every single year.

We see it constantly.

A player goes to a level where they’re valued.
They develop physically and mentally.
They dominate their conference.
And suddenly — the same Division I or II coaches who once ignored them are calling.

Final Thought

If Division I coaches aren’t responding to you the way you hoped, stop chasing them.

Start responding with gratitude and enthusiasm to the coaches who are chasing you.

That’s usually where the best stories begin.

Want Help Navigating This the Right Way?

College recruiting doesn’t need more shortcuts, promises, or pressure.
It needs clarity, context, and a plan that actually fits the athlete.

That’s exactly what I do.

At CoachMattRogers.com, I work with student-athletes, parents, coaches, and programs who want to approach recruiting with intention — not panic. Whether you’re trying to find the right level, understand where you truly fit, or build a development-first plan that keeps doors open long-term, the goal is simple:

Make informed decisions. Build real leverage. Choose the right environment.

If you’re ready to stop guessing and start moving forward with purpose, you can:

Schedule a 1-on-1 recruiting strategy session
Explore Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes
Use the sport-specific Recruit’s Journals to stay organized and focused

You can find all of it at CoachMattRogers.com.

Until next time—stay focused on what you can control, stay humble, and keep chasing significance.

Coach Matt Rogers