“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn (mentor to Tony Robbins)
Let your mind wander for a moment. Think back to the student-athletes you’ve raised, coached, grown up with, or observed from afar. Who comes to mind first? Is it the standout player who always seemed to rise to the occasion, brimming with confidence and delivering when their team needed it most? Or perhaps it’s the one who had immense natural talent but took it for granted, never quite reaching their full potential. Maybe it’s the player who struggled with confidence, never found the right guidance, or was unable to overcome their anxieties.
This past weekend, I attended my daughter’s volleyball tournament and had the chance to observe over a hundred 15- and 16-year-old athletes competing. It was fascinating to witness the full spectrum of motivation and performance unfold before me. As a coach, I couldn’t help but ask myself, What motivates them? And perhaps more importantly, How do they need to be motivated?
My daughter has become a solid volleyball player, improving steadily over the past six or seven years. But like many young athletes—and like her father at that age—she sometimes lets the perceptions of her coaches dictate her confidence and effort. After a tough first day at the tournament, I decided to ask her, What motivates you?
We talked about the difference between internal and external motivation. I explained that while external factors—like pleasing coaches, avoiding criticism, or worrying about being scouted—can influence how we feel, it’s the internal motivations that truly sustain us. Playing for the love of the game, embracing the thrill of competition, and challenging oneself are far more fulfilling and enduring sources of drive.
Whether our conversation made a difference, I can’t say for sure. But she played with more joy and resilience the next day, and I saw her accept outcomes with a renewed sense of grace. I hope she carries the lesson forward: focus on what you can control and let that guide you.
The Power of Internal Motivation
Internal motivation is rooted in passion, purpose, and personal growth. It’s about playing because you love the game, striving to meet your own standards, and relishing the journey of self-improvement. In contrast, external motivation often stems from fear or pressure—the fear of disappointing a coach, the pressure of living up to someone else’s expectations, or the anxiety of being judged in a single moment.
While external motivation can provide a temporary boost, it’s internal motivation that creates long-lasting fulfillment. In sports, work, relationships, and life, grounding ourselves in internal motivators helps us maintain our mental and emotional health.
Goals vs. Choices
When discussing motivation, I often encourage people to move away from being solely goal-oriented and focus instead on the choices they make daily. Goals, like losing 20 pounds by a specific date or making 10 free throws in a row, are often motivated by success. They can be inspiring, but they’re also fleeting and dependent on external validation.
Instead, I advocate for motivations based on significance. These motivations focus on creating sustainable habits and routines that align with your values. For example:
- Instead of aiming to lose 20 pounds, commit to drinking water instead of soda and limiting dairy to once a week.
- Instead of focusing on making 10 free throws in a row, develop a practice routine where you shoot 50 free throws daily, imagining the pressure of a championship game with every shot.
Motivation rooted in significance empowers us to focus on what truly matters and allows us to celebrate the process rather than just the outcome.
A Challenge for You
Wherever you are in life, I encourage you to take a moment today to reflect. Close your eyes, clear your mind, and ask yourself: What motivates me? Then ask yourself: Is it external or internal?
By understanding your motivations, you can make choices that align with your values and sustain your passion for the things that matter most. In the end, motivation isn’t just about achieving; it’s about growing, enjoying the journey, and finding fulfillment in the process.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog and want to dive deeper into understanding motivation and personal growth, check out my book, Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes. It can be purchased through this link: https://coachmattrogers.com/book-significant-recruiting/.
Families and school administrators can also schedule a strategy session with me through this link: https://coachmattrogers.com/contact/#. Together, we can uncover what truly motivates you and help you achieve lasting success.
