“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” — William Shakespeare
My brain makes everything hard. I have a little ADHD. I have a little OCD. I have a lot of paralysis by analysis. I overthink just about everything. And that often leaves me stuck in a schlog of doubt and disappointment.
I see people doing things and think to myself, “I could do that. Heck, I think I could do it better.”
Then comes the moment when I have to take that confident thought and put action behind it—when I actually have to try the thing I just watched someone else do and prove my hypothesis.
That’s where I get myself into trouble.
I suddenly realize I haven’t thought this all the way through. I start convincing myself that the person I watched has years of training, preparation, incredible mentors, and far more experience than I do. Maybe they’re good at what they do because they’ve failed a lot. Maybe after years and years of trying, they finally figured it out—and that’s where their confidence comes from.
And just like that, my internal dialogue shifts.
“Okay…maybe I can’t do this as well as that person. Maybe I don’t have the conviction, patience, or time they’ve put into it. I probably shouldn’t even consider doing this anymore.”
Does this sound familiar?
This is the cycle of thought that a lot of recruits go through.
And here’s the irony: in the time it takes for that mental spiral to run its full course, a recruit could have already looked up a coach’s email address at a school they’re interested in and sent a simple message like this:
Hey Coach, I really want to play at the next level, and I’ve researched your school and program. I think I could accomplish all my goals at your school. Would you be willing to talk to me about my future? I’ve attached some of my game and practice film, along with my grades and transcripts, for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I’d appreciate any opportunity to talk on the phone or over Zoom, and I welcome any feedback or advice you may have. My contact information is below.
Now that coach knows that recruit exists.
They know the recruit is interested in their school and program. They don’t have to find that recruit. They don’t have to convince that recruit to consider their school. They don’t have to track down film, grades, or contact information.
That recruit just made the coach’s job easier. The recruit did about 90% of the work for the coach to potentially recruit them.
That’s how a recruit should think. Period.
Now imagine this: you email one college head coach and one assistant coach once per week, and you do that consistently for a year.
That’s 52 weeks.
That’s 52 college programs.
And all it takes is five minutes per week.
In that time, you’ve introduced yourself to 52 coaching staffs—people who NOW know your name, your interest in their school, your film, and your academic profile.
That’s where we begin.
That’s how we start building traction and leverage in the recruiting process—without the paralysis by analysis that keeps so many recruits stuck.
What a recruit shouldn’t do is worry about, “What if the coach doesn’t like my film or my grades?”
Or, “What if they don’t think I can play at that level?”
Or even, “What if I embarrass myself by sending that email?”
If every time we opened the fridge we said, “What if that food gives me a stomach ache?” we’d all starve to death.
We have to take chances.
We have to put ourselves out there.
When a recruit reaches out to a college coach, they are creating opportunities for themselves. And when I work with recruits, we define three outcomes that all count as wins when they give themselves a chance to be recruited:
- THEY HELPED ME! The coach responds with feedback and advice about what levels they believe you can play at and what skills you should continue developing.
- THEY LIKE ME! The coach likes what they see and wants to continue the conversation.
- THEY DON’T NEED ME! The coach tells you their roster is full at your position or that you aren’t a good fit for their program.
Believe it or not, every one of those is a victory. Gold star if you hear back in any of those ways.
Wait—the coach DOESN’T NEED ME is a victory?
Yes. It absolutely is.
Now you can redirect your time and energy to the other schools on your list. You no longer have to stress about why that coach isn’t calling you back or leaving you in limbo. They gave you honesty—and honesty is a gift.
They just aren’t into you. And that’s okay.
They did you a favor. Move on to the next coach—one who might think you’re the cat’s meow (…a really good fit).
So get out of your own way. Stop worrying about the things you can’t control.
It’s time to stop wasting your recruitment.
Is there more that needs to be done? Yes.
But the confidence a recruit builds by consistently putting themselves out there each week is the key that makes everything else easier. Momentum replaces doubt. Action replaces fear. And perspective begins to replace uncertainty.
If you’re a recruit or a parent looking for direction—and a clear plan for doing this the right way—you’ll find both the framework and real stories inside Significant Recruiting: The Playbook for Prospective College Athletes. And if you want help building and executing your plan, I offer free recruiting strategy sessions along with step-by-step guidance through the Significant Recruiting Launchpad classes.
Stop waiting. Stop overthinking.
Start taking ownership of your recruitment at CoachMattRogers.com.
